|
| wow, donatello is so horny.
he blew this humongous bubble nest and made his colors really bright
and even extended his gill flaps the other day. he really really wants
babies.
anyone want to make a male betta's dreams come true? buy me a female
betta and i'll return you a tank full of adorable baby bettas! =) actually, you have to buy me the tank too. and food. for me.
[pictures later if i feel like it]
spring break is too short. i should be in puerto rico.
==EDIT==
clearly, albert knows nothing about betta breeding. neither did i, until i found this site:
http://www.bettatalk.com/how_bettas_spawn.htm
that's hot.
| | |
| so i know i'm about 41 minutes late, but happy valentines day!
i heard the greatest pick-up line in cell bio today:
"If I could be any enzyme, I'd be DNA helicase, so I could unzip your genes."
-to professor roos from glycine
that's almost as bad as the longest/dorkiest joke i've ever seen, found in the facebook group "fans of badorganic chemistry jokes" and i don't even understand it (yay for never having to take orgo). read at your own risk:
Ethyl and Grignard met at the H bar - a popular spot for continuous
operators to hang out. Ethyl noticed Grignard as soon as he transported
himself in. At first their attraction was only Van der Waals, but
after Grignard bought Ethyl some ethanol the conversation became quite
friendly.
The couple fell deeper into the potential well of love. Grignard felt his
rigid rotor gain a quanta and he knew it was time to operate on Ethyl.
"Would you commute with me, Ethyl? My Mercedes Benzyl is parked right
outside." Ethyl was excited about the opportunity to hybridize with the
best molecule in the bar and left without hesitation.
The reaction proceeded at a fast rate, and Grignard was quick to distill the
small talk down to the synthesis that was at hand. He exposed his nucleophile
and asked Ethyl to remove her protecting group. Ethyl was taken aback by this
lowering of the energy barrier. "Shouldn't we take precautions against
side reactions?" Grignard laughed - he knew the conditions were right and no
unwanted products would be formed.
Ethyl removed her protecting group and exposed her lone pairs. Grignard,
who to this point was in a ground state, realized the potential and entered
an excited state. The transition shocked Ethyl, who moaned, "I've never seen
such a long alkyl group before." Grignard smiled with pride, but in his mind he
worried whether or not his long chain would cause steric hindrances.
Ethyl and Grignard maneuvered near each other without any hydrophobic
tendencies. Ethyl's feelings were basic: she wanted maximum overlap.
Grignard backside attacked ethyl, taking advantage of her fully exposed
carbo-cation. "Ooh," Ethyl said, "no solvent molecule has ever done that
to me before. All they ever did was deprotinate me - I was left all alone
feeling rather negative."
Grignard added himself to her, but he never equilibrated and was forced to
reverse his reaction.
"Don't tease me with your carbo-anion ... Complete the mechanism." When
Grignard backside attacked for the second time, he could feel the hyper-
conjugation taking place. Grignard maneuvered her lone pairs and pushed
his electrons deep into her conjugated pi system. Ethyl shrieked at the
thought of this un-natural anti-bonding configuration, but Grignard explained
that what they were doing was symmetry allowed. Afterall, this was a hetero-
lytic reaction.
Now that the initialization step was complete, the long series of propagation
steps started. Ethyl started feeling rather radical, and her new reactivity
caused Grignard to vibrate faster. Grignard could begin to feel a coupling
between his vibration and rotation. Obviously he was dealing with no simple
basis set, for she was currently fully orthogonal. Grignard whispered
to Ethyl, "You better watch out because I'm going to normalize you." Ethyl
reminded Grignard that she can't be diagonalized like any other molecule,
and her wavefunction was too complicated for even the most sophisticated
algorithm to elucidate.
They were both happy until Grignard asked Ethyl if she'd mind if he had her
spectra taken. The thought of being probed by an electromagnetic field
horrified her. If that wasn't all, the spectra would likely be published
in one of those chemistry magazines ... and her pi system and lone pairs
would be exposed for all to see.
Ethyl entered a new resonance structure, shifted a negative charge to her
carboxyl group, and made further conjugation by Grignard unfavorable.
To make matters worse, Grignard forgot Ethyl's IUPAC name! Ethyl put her
protecting group back on and kicked Grignard out of her beaker.
As Grignard walked back to his Benzyl he realized that he was a little
dehydrated. The night was still young, so he convected himself back to
the H Bar, where he continued to operate frictionlessly on other hermitian
functions.
IN OTHER NEWS the fish is named donatello. he was (hell, IS) my favorite ninja turtle BY FAR. anyone who can make a laser-shooting glider that attaches to a blimp painted like a giant turtle shell kicks ass in my book. he also did that cool rolly thing with his bo-staff in the video game. what did michaelangelo have? some useless backwards jump thing that was impossible to aim. at least leonardo had that cool spinny move.
finally, its 12:45 and PRINCETON STILL SUCKS:
"Penn Drops Princeton, 60-41, Stays Perfect In Ivy Play" | | |
| alright all you lousy non-commenting subscribers. that's right, i called you lousy. as in...you have lice. yea. here's a chance for some real life interaction! so i've been getting pretty tired of albert and decided to get myself a new roommate for this semester. meet __________ !!!
a) donatello - for the purple-masked ninja turtle who was obviously the 1337est of the four
b) harrison - for the giant purple shaft...err...high rise building....in which he now resides
c) shredder - for the purple-caped villain, so that he may one day do battle with splinter, a fellow betta belonging to a friend
d) horatio - just because
e) other (please specify) ___________
[this is a naming poll/contest in case you didn't catch that part. i'm gonna need a sample size of at least n = 40 here, so please do vote.]
in other news:
TAIPEI, Taiwan (Reuters) -- Taiwan, home to the
world's first transgenic glowing fish, has successfully bred fluorescent green
pigs that researchers hope will boost the island's stem cell research, a
professor said.
wow. far out. go taiwan? man, after 2 years of college, i can't even breed green fluorescent bacteria.
| | |
| i guess my parents do get useful emails from time to time...
Political correctness gone amok
I wanted to send out some sort of holiday greeting to my family and friends, but it is so difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So I met with my attorney today, and on his advice (and after $1,200 in attorneys fees) I wish to say the following:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, nonaddictive gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice Holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.
I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2006, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "AMERICA" in the Western Hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, or sexual preference of the wishes.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.
Disclaimer: No trees were harmed in the sending of this message.
there you have it folks, a 100% recycled paper, all-american holiday greeting
and, damn you john, i can NOT stop playing that game
========= edit =========
okay beat it...some nice plot twists...okay twist. man. i fail at being a dark jedi. guess its the light side for me. did you HAVE to give me the sequel john???
| | |
| man, so i wake up and theres already a billion happy new years posts. and only 2 of them were from asia!
in 8th grade i was at stephen's sleepover new year's/birthday party (on the 30th...) and we stayed up till like 6 or something to watch the first year 2000 new years celebration on some random island in the pacific. yea dont ask me how that works out, but i think it does. three cheers for the people of nuku'alofa and their GMT +13:00 time zone.
my resolution this year is to make resolutions next year. | | |
|
